Dungeons and Dragons: Mythania Campaign: Sessions 1 and 2

    I've decided to record the events of the sessions in the new D&D group I formed as the DM on here for posterity, so I can look back on it after it's over and remember, and so I can remember where we're at if need be. I'll use the names of the in-game character for anonymity's sake.

tl;dr

The Queen gave the party the quest of finding and retrieving the fabled Chaos Crystals. The party found a partially ineligible map through a series of hilarious misadventures. They encountered a suspicious wizard named Taurus the Red who wants the Chaos Crystals for himself. While taking a break from the main quest, the party had more misadventures at a food festival. Throughout, Shavey did random backflips and Reginald offered a mango to everyone he met.

Session 1: 10/04/2020 Character Creation

DM: No character

Kyle: Fighter human (Lawful good)

Shavey: Bard elf (Alignment tbd)

Reginald: Cleric human (Alignment tbd)

Session 2: 10/11/2020

NPCs encountered: 

Fred: Servant human (party member)

Donkey: Pack pony (party member)

Taurus the Red: Fire wizard (Neutral Evil) (main character)

The Queen

Head Librarian

Cranky Wizard

Random Talking Eagle

Jester

Setting:

    The planet of Mythania (although the inhabitants think it is a flat world because the portion of land they're on ends on all four sides in a cliff that is so high up, it looks like there's no bottom.). There is one ocean in which resides the city of Atlantis. The good country is surrounded by the goblins and other monsters below in the underground tunnels, the Dark Lord's empire, the ocean, and the realm of evil men. The four sides of the known world are the Greylands (a frozen wasteland) to the north, the Wetlands (a putrescent bog) to the east, the Rocklands (a mountain range) to the west, and the Hotlands (a volcano range) to the south. Session 2 takes place entirely in the good country.

Prologue:

    First, the queen gave the party a task. To find and retrieve the fabled Chaos Crystals. After accepting their task, Shavey performed an excellent backflip. They then went to the stables and met Fred the servant who is extremely eager to please. Reginald gave Fred a mango. So eager... He constantly apologizes for the slightest mistake, dusts the party off whenever they get dirty, and is just generally awkward. Shavey seems to feel a slight motherly sort of affection for him. She gives him regular pats on the head to let him know he's doing a good job. Donkey the pony carries the party's equipment. He is a talking pony, though he says few words.

    First, the party decided to head over to the restricted section of the Royal Library which even the Queen is not allowed to access. Several attempts at persuasion (including Shavey calling the librarian a meanie poopyhead, and Reginald giving the librarian a mango.) failed miserably with the librarian just staring at the party members. Kyle refused to do anything. Finally, Shavey snuck into the library. In a desperate attempt to follow, Reginald performed a magic trick. He placed his hands behind his head and interlocked his fingers and showed them to the librarian. He then put his interlocked fingers behind his head and undid it and showed his free hands to the librarian. (Rolled a 20) The librarian was so amazed by this magic trick. (He said it was the best, most amazing magic trick he'd ever seen, and that Reginald must be a great magician who clearly had important business in the restricted section of the library.) He let Reginald into the library. Shavey found a book on the Chaos Crystals, but the only legible part was a map. She was able to discern the locations of 10 Chaos Crystals from the map. After leaving the library, Reginald and Kyle tried to read the map, but they could not figure out as much as Shavey did.

    The locations of the Chaos Crystals they figured out are: The Dark Lord's Palace, the Cyclops Den, The Underground Caves, the Sky Temple, the Arena, Anarchy City, The Evil Kind of Men's Castle, Atlantis, the Greylands, and the Wetlands.

    The party then went to go talk to a wizard who they thought might have information on the Chaos Crystals. The wizard was a grumpy old man who wanted to be left alone. He threw a fireball at them, it fell short. So short that it only went a couple inches out his window and dropped straight down into his petunias, burning them to a crisp. Shavey tried convincing the wizard to come out, but failed. Repeatedly throughout Kyle and Reginald's shenanigans. Reginald offered the wizard a mango. Kyle tried to break down the door by ramming it with his shoulder. He cracked the door, but it did not break down. The wizard opened the door, slammed Kyle with a fireball that took out almost half his health, and slammed/locked the door again. Reginald tried to give Kyle a health potion, but Kyle knocked the potion out of his hand and elbowed Reginald in the gut. Reginald then elbowed Kyle in the gut. The old wizard snickered. Shavey performed a healing spell that restored Kyle to full health. Kyle tried to ram the door again. It splintered and the hinges groaned, but nothing else happened. Reginald tried jamming a knife into the lock, but the knife broke. Reginald then carefully removed the pieces of the broken blade from the door. Kyle tried one last time to break the door down, but rolled a 3 and dislocated his shoulder. Kyle popped his shoulder back into place, but decided not to ram the door anymore. Shavey decided to do a backflip. She tripped a little. She then performed an interpretive dance for the wizard. It was awful. She then tried to perform an interpretive dance for Fred who tried very hard not to tell her it was awful. Shavey tried another backflip and landed smack on her face. Fred picked her up and dusted her off. Shavey patted Fred on the head and told him he did a good job. Reginald took the handle of his broken knife and broke the wizard's window. Shavey finally convinced the wizard to talk to them by promising they'd leave him alone if he did. The wizard let them in and gave them a copy of the same map they had found in the book. He refused to help them read the parts they were confused on since they had broken his window and damaged his door. He was also salty about his petunias. They left.

    The party was suddenly approached by a strange figure in a full set of armor and a cloak with a hood. He had jet black shaggy hair + beard. He introduced himself as Taurus the Red and offered to join them to help them find the Chaos Crystals. The party was extremely suspicious. Shavey performed a spectacular backflip, which Taurus applauded for. Reginald gave Taurus a mango. Shavey asked Taurus for a grapefruit. Taurus pulled out a grapefruit, but said it was his and put it away. Shavey decided she didn't like Taurus very much. They (mostly Reginald) questioned him and found out that he had helped make the Crystals and believed them to be his. He simply wanted their help getting the crystals, but did not intend to let the queen have any. Shavey began wondering why the queen wanted the crystals, but she was too lazy to go ask, so she told Fred to do it. Fred ran off in the direction of the palace, despite it being miles away. He came back and grabbed Donkey because he was pledged to never lose their stuff. Shavey ran off after Fred, realizing her mistake, and Kyle ran after Shavey. Reginald stayed, questioning Taurus the Red, discovering some of the aforementioned things. Fred realized they had left Reginald behind, so we went back and got Reginald and brought him back to the party. For the moment, they had lost Taurus. The party decided not to trust Taurus and to not let him join the party.

The Festival:

    The party decided to take a break from their quest. Shavey did a backflip, which a talking eagle saw from the sky. He came down and congratulated Shavey on the excellent form. Reginald gave a mango to the eagle. Reginald then ate 17 mangos and enjoyed them very much. Attracted by the smell of eggs, Reginald led them to a food festival. Kyle grabbed a cheese biscuit and choked on it. While Kyle was choking and Reginald was performing the heimlich, Shavey just looked around for a watermelon. She rolled a 20 and found the biggest, juiciest, tastiest watermelon ever. Reginald successfully performed the heimlich on Kyle. Kyle elbowed Reginald for doing the heimlich too hard. Reginald elbowed Kyle back because he saved Kyle's life. Guards came over, but Reginald convinced them it was a simple misunderstanding. Shavey bit into the watermelon without cutting it open. Not only that, she rolled a one and bit the bit of stem on the end and broke her tooth. Reginald put the tooth back and gave her health potion which fixed the problem. Shavey tried to eat the watermelon again. She rolled a 1 again, and did the exact same thing as before. Reginald fixed her mouth again. Shavey asked Fred to slice up the watermelon for her. He did just that, and the party enjoyed watermelon together except Reginald who was too full because of the 17 mangos. 

    A jester got up on stage and asked Shavey to come up as a volunteer. He was about to try the sawing in half trick when Reginald threatened his life if he hurt his friend. The jester, terrified, ran away. So, Shavey saved the show by playing her shawm (medieval instrument). It was an excellent performance with only one missed note that no one noticed. Then, Reginald got on stage and hit a fat nae nae, which caused the crowd to burst into a festival-wide dance.

End of Session:

    The party decided to hold off on the main quest and try some side quests (tbd) next session so that they could get some combat experience and level up a little before taking on the tough chapters of the main quest. Note: When designing the first campaign, don't rely on an old story you made without thinking things through, or the entire campaign will be way too difficult for beginners. Kyle, who had helped me make said story, warned me of such difficulties before we got to them, so that is why the party decided to do side quests first.